25/05/2015

Life Updates: My Career Makeover

Just a few short months ago, I was living what could be viewed as a 'cool' life: a job in fashion, an office in a hip London area, fashion event invitations and a stellar salary. I worked in a place where the fridge was always stacked with free food, yoga lessons were free twice a week and the computers were sleek, brand-new Macs. Life was glossy.

But I felt hollow inside. I dragged myself out of bed in the morning and sleepwalked through the day with only the thought of  my side project, Vilda, to keep me going. The hours were excruciatingly long and my head and eyes ached so bad from all that staring at a screen that I couldn't sleep well at night. The commute was a nightmare and it was the first time in my life that I'd failed to make any friends at work. Many days I thought that if I were to leave this job today, the only thing I'd miss were the two office dogs. Even so, these were just minor details compared to how devoid of meaning my job felt (to me - this is a personal reflection and other people might love doing this kind of work, in which case, more power to them). I kept pushing away the constant niggling voice that reminded me that my contribution to the company didn't really matter, and even if it did, all we were doing was sell products. Products we didn't even make. Products that weren't unique, interesting, useful or good for the planet. Call it 'luxury' (how I hate that word), but ultimately it's still just stuff, stuff we don't need.



And it wasn't the first time I'd ended up in the 'safe' trap and taken a job in an industry I'd fallen out of love with. When living in Milan two and a half years ago, I finally fled from a similar job after one day when I almost started crying at a press event in a designer's showroom, out of sheer misery over how empty and superficial it all was. I thought I'd made a breakthrough that day - yet, a year later, there I was in London doing the very same job, and more similar experiences followed. I figured that this was what I did now. This was my lot in life: I had studied fashion, made a CV for myself in this field and now I was stuck with it. No one in my dream industry, charity, would ever hire me, since I had no experience was and was too old to intern or be an assistant. So on with fashion I trudged, even if it made me unhappy.

I kept doing this to myself, again and again, until recently, when things got so miserable that I had to wake up. I realised that I needed change. I no longer wanted to tell people what to buy. I needed to be a part of something that really made a difference.

And so I reached for something new, grabbed an opportunity with both hands, which I will never regret. I meditated on it and asked the universe to help me find a path that was far from that heavy undercurrent of emptiness that I'd felt for years. And a glittering opportunity presented itself, one that I never thought could be mine, but when I saw it I went for it. I figured I had nothing to lose - in the end, I could always go back to fashion. The moment I got the news of my new job offer, I felt like a huge weight had fallen off my shoulders and a door to a new life was opening up.

Today I work with an amazing team dedicated to saving animals - all that I've ever wanted to do. I get up every morning energised and enthusiastic about work. Monday mornings feel like a fresh new start and that pit of anxiety in my stomach is gone. I love my new team and how tight-knit we are. I thoroughly enjoy seeing how we all work towards the same goal, which is not about selling calfskin bags but about saving the actual calf! This new adventure is filled with challenges and lessons to learn, but somehow I feel less discouraged when I hit a roadblock. Because this time I care about doing my very best - not just because I have to, because it's my job, but because I genuinely want to.

On this Bank Holiday Monday, I look at my life and I can't believe it's mine! I have the most amazing, rewarding job I could ever want. My magazine is blossoming.  I live in the most vibrant and exciting city on the planet and am lucky enough to share a lovely flat with a wonderful crazy genius musician that I'm married to. I have amazing friends and get to travel a little bit - not as much as I'd like to, but still.
I finally feel like I'm living the life that was missing before. Just because I followed that stubborn feeling in my stomach that told me to create a life that felt truly mine. 



15 comments:

  1. Congratulations Sascha! I wish there were more people like you in fashion but I can see why you had to get out. Fashion magazines used to be a treat for me but I am sick of being told all the time how I can look better, when even if I believe it I won't buy any of the stuff that will make me look better because it's either made out of or tested on animals. I hope you will be happy in your new job, and keep up your great work with Vilda x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Noorin Khamisani25 May 2015 at 14:42

    Great post and congratulations on your new job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, well done! That sounds absolutely wonderful and I am happy that you found a path that leaves you fulfilled and didn't listen to those voices who tell you that fashion is the best of industries to work in.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Complimenti, sia per il coraggio (cosa che non è affatto da tutti), sia per aver avverato un sogno! Sei forza per chi ha paura di osare un, anche solo un pò!

    Life, Laugh, Love and Lulu

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's so good that you feel a lot happier in your current job, I think that is the most important thing; that you love your work! :) xxx


    www.thejulyjournal.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so, so happy for you! I saved this post, I know for sure that sometime in the future I have to read this again... just to remember that everything is possible :)
    Thank you and good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congratulation on your new job! It sounds amazing and I really hope that you will tell us a bit more about what you do. Quitting a job like you did is not easy and it takes a lot of courage to be able to do that. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I see a lot of people unhappy with their works, and no one do anything to change the situation. I live in Italy, so I know it's not so easy, but I think it's sad to "give up" and not even try to find something which makes you smile. Is it too utopian?


    Alice
    Ps: as always, I apologise for my bad english :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wonderful story... well done to you... totally admire your thoughts and your commitment! You did it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I know what you mean. I've lived in Italy for six years. It's such a shame that the single most beautiful country in the world (well, sorry everyone else, but aesthetically and architecturally speaking, that's the objective truth!) is so lacking in opportunity.


    Definitely sad to see people 'give up' just because what they love seems to be out of reach. Especially when what they love is something rather doable. I'm not (just) talking about those who dream of winning Oscars or Olympics. I mean people that want to, I don't know, open their own bakery and they don't even try because it's 'too difficult'. That saddens me a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  11. well I did have the new job lined up ;) thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  12. It might be, for some people. Just not me.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Grazie :) alla fine non penso sia coraggioso, perché cos'é che avevo da perdere? Nulla. Al massimo rimanevo dove stavo. Ma vale sempre la pena tentare, sempre!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Il caffè è più buono quando la mattina hai voglia di fare quello che devi fare!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Che bello questo commento. Grazie mille. Mi dispiace che non ho risposto subito! Hai proprio ragione.

    ReplyDelete

Speak your mind.