Disclaimer: any and all comments on this post that state, "you watch too much TV" will be deleted mercilessly.
It's quite safe to say I'm what may be considered a TV-aholic. Sitcoms are my oxygen (well, not really. While I am fully capable of holding my breath for almost a minute, a recent stay at my mother's has proved that I can, in fact, not function without a television) and whatever crowd I find myself in, I'm always the resident Friends expert. However, there are times when my beloved TV shows make me go ballistic, namely when the characters that are supposed to end up together choose other people. We're supposed to be all happy for this oh-so-wrong, lopsided couple, while the "right" person sits nearby with a "gracious loser" look on his/her perfectly made-up face. And I just want to scream, "No, no, NO! This is WRONG! You should be with him/her! Did I really waste five years' worth of Thursday nights on this?"
Without further ado, here are the couples that definitely should have sailed into the sunset together:
Brenda and Dylan
I had such a crush on Dylan in the 90s. You may say, "we all did", but I bet you weren't as obsessed as I was. As a twelve-year-old, I already exhibited the same stalker-ish celebrity obsession tendencies that I do now (hi, Jared Leto). I actually worried about how to tell my mother that I, at 12, was about to marry the then-24-year-old Luke Perry. How would she take it? Brenda was obviously my favourite character on the show, I raged against whoever called her a bitch and was heartbroken when Shannen Doherty got kicked off. Needless to say I passionately hated Kelly. That blonde soulmate-stealer.
Dawson and Joey
Now, this actually made me angry.
Here you spend eternities - eternities! - out of your precious youth watching this pretentious show where teenagers talk like 40-year-old English teachers and having lived in New York is enough to qualify you as a "bad girl", just waiting for the conclusion - the two main characters falling in love. And what happens? SHE CHOOSES PACEY. Why? Why Pacey? What was the message - "nice guys really do finish last"? Or was it some lame attempt to think outside the happy-ending box and actually attempt an unhappy ending to a teenagers' show? Whatever it was, in my opinion Pacey should have hooked up with Kelly from 90210. They're both STEALERS.
Frasier and Roz
Okay, so I'm quite new to Frasier, so all you Frasier aficionados better explain this to me.
What's the point? What's the point of anything? Why isn't the show called Niles, or Niles and Daphne, as those are the only people actually doing what they're supposed to do? Or Martin, if we just want a really funny show. What's the point of Laura Linney? What's the point of six seasons of this show, if Frasier and Roz don't end up together?
Lily and Rufus
I know, we were all busy watching Serena's to-die-for wedding dress. And, well, we were all staring at Dan Humphrey (eye candy!). But one question came to my mind in the Gossip Girl finale: why not Lily and Rufus? They were the epitome of a perfect grown-up couple! And isn't William a bad guy? Or did I miss something? Was this a PR trick for a new Lisa Loeb album I don't know about?
Ted and Robin
I have a love/hate relationship with How I Met Your Mother. It's hilarious and I adore it and I want to be roommates with everyone on it. But its subtle, soul-destroying conformity-for-all messages really drive me insane. No, you can't go off and be a painter, sacrifice your career to do what you love or stay legen-wait for it-dary forever, you HAVE to "grow up", which means get married, accept the boring job and get wrestled into admitting that you "one day" want kids, because that's what "everyone" does. Otherwise, you're a freak (which is, by the way, what every vegan on this show is labelled. But back to the point). This is reason one why I don't like Barney and Robin: neither of them should get married and have kids. In real life, they wouldn't want to, and that would be okay. Reason two: Robin is meant to be with Ted! They're soulmates. They're Ross and Rachel 2.0! Imagine if Rachel would have ended up with Joey instead. That's what's happening here. Or maybe I'm just saying this because I have a huge crush on Josh Radnor.
Carrie and Aiden
I don't hate Mr Big. He does have a certain suit-up charm (he's like the grown-up Barney!). But if baffles me that what set out to be considered a groundbreaking feminist show features the heroine getting abused and mistreated by a flaky, immature commitment-phobe for six seasons - only to marry her abuser in the end. Where's the girl power? Where's the feminism? Where is the gloriously liberating "he's just not that into you" concept - which was actually created by Sex and the City writers? Aiden is the good guy; Big is the villain. Aiden loves and respects Carrie, while Big just gets his kicks out of manipulating her. In the second movie (which I loved!) where Carrie runs into Aiden in Abu Dhabi, I was SO hoping they'd get back together.
Phew. All I can say is, let's at least hope Leonard and Penny stay together.
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