25/08/2012

On Goodbyes

I still remember when we first moved into this apartment.

It was the scorching hot summer of 2010 (history has a way of repeating itself) and we'd been house-hunting here in Milan for almost a month. A month during which we had the chance to witness more than 50 shades of horrible: the ad that said "40 square metres" for us to show up and find not even 15, the €200-plus "bills and extras" that weren't mentioned in the ad, the "great location!" apartment in the area that can only be reached by hours of buses we didn't even know existed, and my personal favorite: the three-month deposit. Even if I do have a stable job, where do I find three months' rent in advance? Mystery.

Then, one day, we bumped into our future home.

The first time I visited our street, I told David, "this is it. This is where I want to live." I just knew that this is where we'd end up, among cozy little cafés and small boutiques on one side of the street and the glittering nightlife on the other. One of the Navigli artificial rivers runs right beside our door and the beauty of this street is way out of Milan's league. I could already see myself going for a run in the park, having an aperitivo at the riverside bars and shopping at the huge nearby supermarket.
If I were to live in Milan, I told myself, then I am going to live right here.
And that's exactly how it went.





Our building - we're in love with living here, but it's time to move on.

Today's our last day before moving out and it hurts, it physically hurts to think about how much I'm going to miss this place. Starting from tomorrow, we'll no longer be living in "the world's smallest apartment", as I've affectionately called it here on Coffee and Heels. It's time to go, and I'm not ready yet.

We've packed our bags, we've moved all our boxes and we've walked around the area to say goodbye. I've held back tears and asked myself why the heck I had the back luck to be born this sensitive. David's happy to move; he can't wait to start fresh. I, on the other hand, feel like a tiny piece of my life is being pulled out from underneath me. From tomorrow until I have no idea when, we are officially...homeless. Still, there's no one I'd rather be homeless with than David.

This is the apartment where I celebrated my 28th birthday, one of my best ever, with my entire group of friends from work. Even my sister came to visit from Stockholm with her boyfriend. David and his best friend played the guitar, my friend Daniele had brought chocolate chip muffins, and even my amazing and inspirational then-boss popped in. It was a lovely night.

This is the apartment where I cooked that horrific Valentine's Day millefoglie cake for David. It came out half-liquid and we laughed and ate it with spoons, in between kisses.

This is the apartment where I took off the plastic from my first tattoo. I'll never forget the adrenaline rush from having tried something that new and awesome. That night, we had a glass of wine to celebrate my courage.

We've had lovely parties, beautiful dinners and happy times here. We've laughed, cried (well, at least I have!) and lived in this little space that was just for us. We've built a life in this freakishly small studio, and now it will no longer be ours.

I know, I know that I should focus on our new life in London, but I can't shake the thought that someone else will live in our apartment. It will be somebody else's home. All of our memories, our moments, will just be...gone, like we will be in just ten measly days' time.

I hope that this new person will be as happy and excited as I was when we first moved in.
I hope that they will have tons of dinner parties, even if this place barely seats eight people.
I hope that they will wake up with the rays of sun creeping in through the blinds and the sound of the bells from the church nearby (oh, how I will miss that sound. I have no idea how I will sleep without it).
I hope they'll have coffee in the morning at our table and think, "I'm so lucky to live here."







I also wish them a long friendship with Teo, the neighbor's cat - he's one of the things we miss the most!



Until our plane lifts for London on September 4th, we'll be staying with David's parents. There's not much internet access there, so I'll try and keep you as updated as I can!


Pictures from my Instagram



22 comments:

  1. thanks & enjoy the travel! i love London :)
    bisous xxx

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  2. Oj här händer det grejer! Sasha, vad vemodigt men samtidigt spännande med ny stad. Varför blev det London? Nu vill jag veta allt!

    Bisous

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    1. Precis, det är jättespännande men samtidigt galet sorgligt att lämna Milano! Jo, vi tog en sväng till London i april och min kille fick ett par bra jobbchanser där, så vi tänkte att vi tar sista sommaren i Italien och sedan sticker vi! Ska bli jättekul.

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  3. OH GOSH!Do you know Sascha that I'm leaving too??? On October I'll move to London!! We could be LondonFriends :DD YEEEEEEEEEEHH!

    I'm so scared because I don't have nothing there, I don't know anybody but...ohhh I have to do that.

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    1. ...really? I'm so happy!! You do know one person there: ME! We should so get in touch, mandami una mail, magari ci vediamo lì!! Che bello!

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    2. I'm happy too, I really hope I'll not die in London.
      If you want my email is lavolpemangialuva@gmail.com!

      Sarebbe fantastico. Ho il terrore al solo pensiero, ma sarebbe stupendo. Per ora sto ancora cercando una camera... uf uf!

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  4. Ciao Sascha! anch'io ho lasciato da poco il mio appartamentino a Milano e a settembre sarò a Londra per iniziare un master! fingers crossed! ;)

    Giulia

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    1. Giulia che bello! Teniamoci in contatto dai!

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    2. Davvero molto volentieri! :) Milano sembra tranquillissima ed economica in confronto a Londra vero? :P Comunque condivido tutte le tue paure e la tua curiosità di cui parli nell'ultimo post!

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  5. It's always so sad to move, but at least you're moving on to start a new adventure, rather than going somewhere boring, that must make it a bit easier? x

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    1. You're right and it does! I'll feel better soon - it's just that today's moving day and it was really sad leaving the apartment this morning. At least we're done with all the boxes!

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  6. Non ci siamo mai incontrate e non abbiamo nemmeno abitato vicine, ma leggere il tuo post mi mette tanta malinconia (come vedi non sei l'unica a essere così sensibile). Ma come ti ho già scritto, tu hai la capacità di ricominciare alla grande senza rimpiangere il passato. Eppoi... Londra è Londra!
    Buon viaggio!

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    1. Grazie mille Mia! Abbiamo lasciato oggi il nostro amato monolocale e sono in piena nostalgia. Peró so che passerà appena affronteró la nuova avventura!

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  7. What a beautiful piece of writing. It's amazing how much we can fall in love with our surroundings. It does sound like it was a beautiful street. I think the exciting thing is that you know it exists and can strive to find places like that in every city you live in. I wish you all the best for home-hunting in London! Thank you also for those two excellent food blog recommendations. I really appreciate you taking the time to write.

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  8. quasi tre anni fa, scatoloni nel baule dell'auto, mi apprestavo a lasciare il mio appartamento di Milano e le mie coinquiline per andare a convivere con mio (allora moroso) marito. Ero felice di ciò eppure ho pianto come un vitello a lasciare le chiavi! E ogni volta che posso ripasso sotto quell'incrocio e guardo in alto verso le finestre della mia stanza provando una nostalgia infinita

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  9. Nice story.. am still on the look for my 'definitive' house in Milan.. maybe one day i'll have a 'coup de foude' like you ;)

    http://absolutelyfaaabulous.com

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  10. Am still looking for the perfect love nest in Milan.. hopefully one day very soon I'll have the same "coup de foudre" for something like you ;)

    http://absolutelyfaaabulous.com

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  11. Credo di avertelo già fatto l'inboccaallupo, ti invidio questa capacità di ribaltarti la vita che hai, anche il mio moroso vorrebbe andare a Londra io invece vorrei rimanere qua, finchè mi è possibile, magari in un appartamente come quello.
    Sui navigli.

    In bocca al lupo ad entrambi per la vostra nuova vita in London, sono certa che tra Little Venice e Notting Hill un posticino come i Navigli lo trovi.

    Un bacione

    Zit

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    1. Grazie mille Zit! Si quella è proprio una mia caratteristica: ogni tanto sconvolgo tutto. Stavolta è più che altro per possibilità lavorative di David, ma anche perchè da tanto tempo un nostro sogno! Vedremo come andrà...

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  12. la nostalgia fa parte della vita ahimè, ma un grosso in bocca al lupo per quello che troverai da domani in poi!

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  13. Bellissimo questo post, penso che anche io mi sarei commossa a lasciare un appartamento amato, pure se sono una che di norma... non si volta indietro.
    In bocca al lupo per tutto (e crepi il cacciatore!).

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