Open Letter to SkinnyGossip.com Re: Kate Upton

Dear SkinnyGossip.com (and mysterious Skinny Gurl blogger),

my name is Sascha. I am a writer. I work with women's magazines and websites. You don't know who I am because I've never read your site before the Kate Upton post, and I doubt that I ever will again.

Let me get this straight. You are not pro-ana. You are "pro-skinny", meaning "preferring the skinny look but not at the cost of health". Okay. So far, so...weird, but that's your call. Personally, I wonder what exactly there is to prefer about having visible bones and what part of your "motivational" weight-loss posts (honestly, those just creep me out) that's supposed to be the healthy part. I'd also love to know how a blog focusing on health can contain labels like "fatties", "thunder thighs", and my favorite, "Starving Tips of the Day".

I understand that being born thin isn't always easy: just like you, I have to put up with people commenting on how thin I look - people that would never dream of saying the same thing to an overweight woman. And I agree that slim girls have taken tons of criticism lately - magazines claiming that "men prefer curvy" and fashion models born with thin bodies facing anorexia accusations.


Kate Upton is a gorgeous lady. With a perfect figure.

Now, ladies, show of hands: who wouldn't want to look like Kate? Gentlemen, show of hands: who wouldn't want to take her out on a date?

You say there's nothing wrong with saying skinny is beautiful - a big round of applause from me. Having said that, there is something fundamentally wrong with calling a curvier model a "little piggie", which just proves what your entire site is about - insecurity. If you felt confident in your skinny self, you'd feel no need to bash others.

You then go on and say Kate appears "thick, vulgar and pornographic" (oh, since that's so terrible. We all know how men hate porno-looking bodies), has "terrible body definition" (what?) and looks - wait for it, everyone - "like a squishy brick". Yeah, sounds like you're all about "health" and "beauty" to me.

"Fashion is supposed to be aspirational", you say, "and the kind of people who aspire to look like this shop for clothes at Wal-Mart." Ouch. Sounds like you should change your username to Snobby Gurl. First of all, what's up with the "kinds of people"? Who divides people into "kinds" like that? What "kind of person" am I? I think Kate is gorgeous, but I also think Freja Beha Erichsen is gorgeous.  

I don't know you, Skinny Gurl, but I'd love to give you a hug, buy you a drink and take you out shopping. Maybe then you'd feel a bit more confident, secure, and okay with yourself. Because right now, frankly my dear, you sound like the type of girl that only orders green salad on a date. And nobody likes that girl (unless she's vegan and the restaurant's crappy enough to only offer green salads to their more compassionate customers. In that case, I feel your pain), especially because - admit it - you steal all the fries off your date's plate.

Sascha at Coffee and Heels

PS. Oh, and have you read this super-awesome Hello Giggles article?

pictures from Pinterest

Update: When I say I'm "naturally thin", in no way do I mean I look like a "thinspiration" picture! God no! I hope I never will - and I hope you never will. That is not thin to me - it's just unhealthy. All I was that I do not do anything to lose weight - I eat what is healthy and good for me. I do a moderate amount of exercise, but mostly for my health. 


  1. incredibile, ma scema lei scemi i lettori, hai visto i commenti nel forum?


    una manica di idiote. poi ci lamentiamo del sistema moda

    1. visti, visti. Sinceramente mi spaventano un po'.

  2. Ouch, that is an incredibly bitchy and unfair article. I agree she looked more supermodel when she was a little smaller, but that's probably just because I'm used to supermodels that are ONLY teeny tiny. She looks beautiful both ways, and anyone that spells 'girl' 'gurl' is in no place to pass judgement.

  3. I love this post! wrote something similar but not as eloquent.
    i'm giving you a slow-clap ;)

  4. Io ancora mi domando come sia possibile che ci siano persone al mondo che credono all'idea che magrezza coincida con bellezza.


  5. wowza! just read the article. I am lost for words! and your response...perfect

    Suzi x

  6. I don't think she's fat but I don't find her body very attractive either. I prefer my own actually.

  7. I'm so glad you wrote this! You know, I actually thought about posting something similar, but I knew you'd be able to write it so much better. I just don't get why women feel the need to pass judgement on other women's bodies. Judge someone because they are a bigot or abuse others, or animals. Don't judge someone just because they are a bigger size than you. How very small her world must be.

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  10. I don't find Kate Upton attractive at all... She has a pretty face that's about all. I was shocked to learn that she is actually a model. I don't think her body look's healthy. There are some amazing gorgeous curvy models out there who exercise and still eat healthy and look healthy and toned but she just generally doesn't look like she looks after her body well... She looked a lot healthier in her early days.

    1. I agree. She has a pretty face which isn't as pretty as it could be because of access fat. Also Sascha was saying Freja is "skinnier than you" necessary to those girls? Aren't you trying to say that people shouldn't be mocked for their weight? Instead you just pretty much said you're naturally skinny (which you're not, though perhaps you're "skinny" considering the lifestyle you live, I don't know). Anyway, being vicious was not my intention and I just want to provide another perspective.

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  12. Funny how you claim to know fashion, then you make the biggest fool out of yourself by saying Kate is in the least bit fashionable. She's not. She's a glorified porn star pretending to be a model.

    Also, for someone who claims to know fashion, you kind of seem to be oblivious to the fact that PHOTOGRAPHS ARE RETOUCHED. That so called flattering photos of Kate's so called flawless body is most obviously retouched. And if you can't see that, you're blind (watch a video of her clomping down the runway like an elephant). Oh, and funny how they always have to retouch her body to look MANY pounds lighter than she is.....ironic, no? ;)

    Finally, sorry if this comes off as rude, but it's the truth. You are not "naturally thin", you are "naturally average". There's nothing thin about your body. You have an average weight, and I'm pretty sure anybody in the world can eat properly (healthy foods in appropriate portions) and exercise moderately and get your "naturally thin" body. If you want to call yourself thin, get to a model weight. If you're not willing to do that, don't go around trying to make yourself (and your body) seem better than you are. It's phony.

    1. Funny how you're all anonymous :)

      I don't "claim to know" anything. I can't deny I've been to fashion shows for work, but that doesn't make me an expert on anything. A blog post is just an expression of an opinion.

      Oh and guys...do you have cameras spying on me somewhere? There are no bikini pics of me on here: how do you know anything about my body? How do you know how much I weigh? Because...I don't. I haven't been on a scale since my doctor told me to throw 'em out five years ago. I don't "want to call myself thin." But others do, and I don't always like it when they do.

      And...does calling myself "thin" mean I think I am "better"? Is thin better? I don't think so at all. I think thin is like blonde, dark, tall, tan, pale, whatever: just a physical trait, neither negative nor positive. But I'd love some views on this!

      And I WOULD LOVE IT if everybody in the world ate healthy foods in appropriate portions and exercised moderately! Wouldn't that be wonderful?

  13. Kate Upton has a pretty face, a bit boring, but pretty. The fashion industry doesn't use girls like her because they make women look like sexual objects which is distracting and take away the focus from the clothes. She's not meant for the fashion industry. She's meant for Page 3.

    I'm lucky, I'm 5'10, naturally very thin and have model looks. On no level do I at ALL wish I could look like her. I think she looks like a common footballers wives bimbo, and my lover agrees.

    I hope you learn to except yourself and don't wish to look like her. I also hope you get those vulgar tramp stamps removed.

    1. I also feel I should mention that I don't fully agree with everything SG said on the topic, I think it was a bit OTT.

  14. Although I am no supermodel, I would NEVER want to look like Kate Upton. She has no waistline, and a floppy physique. That is my personal preference.
    Furthermore, I am a vegan, and while that is also a personal preference, I know that I am much healthier, happier, and thinner for it.
    And while I cannot speak for SG, I think you are taking that site way too seriously. If you read more, you will see that the ladies on that forum are well-informed, supportive, and dedicated. At the same time, they have a sense of humor. Yes, I prefer the thin look. I think a bit of hip-bone and some ribs are beautiful. But I don't mind a little T & A, too. The point is, everyone has a different ideal. The only science is in the ratio of hips and bust to waistline (where a waist that is 60-70% of the hips has been proven to be seen as attractive by men). Being that Ms. Upton has no waist, she does not meet this criteria.

  15. I'm personally a part of SG and if you actually looked into the site, you'd find a bunch of well educated, skinny, and most importantly, healthy girls. There are support resources for EDs and those "starving tips"? They're HEALTHY dieting tips that promote a healthy lifestyle and also to stop people from binging and overeating. If you did your research, you would know that.

    Also, don't claim that she is perfect and then post a clearly photoshopped picture of her. I could look like that too if I had a computer team behind me.

  16. I am turning off comments on this post because I am done talking about it. This post was a month and a half ago and I'd love to move on. I've already expressed my opinion: I'm not an expert, and this is just a blog. I still think Kate looks amazing and I still don't think calling someone a "piggie" on a website is very classy behavior. I don't think "starving tips" or thinspiration are healthy and I think fashion comes in many different sizes and shapes.

    I'm happy that this post has brought up this much discussion and new visitors to my blog, really. But I'd love all of you to look at my newer posts as well. Or, if you're into this subject, just click on "Being a Woman" on the "I Talk About..." side gadget on the right side of this blog and you'll find my thoughts on many other similar matters. Have a nice day, and once again, thanks for stopping by.