Sunday, 15 April 2012

Seven Signs Your Boyfriend is Cheating...With His Guitar

I have been with my fiancé for four and a half years, living together for three. He's never given me a reason to be jealous, except for one woman in his life...or two, now that I think about it: his two handmade (by himself) guitars, one classic and one electric.




Three of David's biggest passions: the sea, the guitar, and supermodel Daria Werbowy.

pic from Pinterest


When we moved back to Milan after spending a year in my hometown of Stockholm, David went ahead of me and I came along later, with a precious piece of baggage: his classical guitar, which could NOT, as I patiently repeated to the Easyjet lady, be checked in as luggage. Even if she insisted the case "looked sturdy", mercilessly tossing a one-of-a-kind handmade guitar in with the rest of the suitcases would mean reducing it to wood chips - and along with it, the heart and soul of my unsuspecting boyfriend. So, I did what any other future musician's wife would do - I bought an extra plane ticket and stone-facedly handed it over to the boarding staff that looked at me like I was crazy. The guitar made the trip on the seat next to me and arrived to safety and into David's loving arms. As did I.  

So as you can see, I've been holding up my end of the bargain and I still sometimes find myself in second place. If you're a fellow rock n'roll girlfriend, you know what I mean:


1. If you stub your big toe on the bathroom door and scream bloody murder for fifteen minutes, he barely looks your way. But if - God forbid - the guitar case, not even the guitar itself, gets lightly bumped against something, it's The. End. Of. The. World.

2. You're telling him about the details of your day and are just about to ask him for his views on your chances for a promotion this year, when he interrupts you by turning on the results of his day. At full volume.

3. As soon as you're done listening to aforementioned masterpiece, he puts it on repeat, asking your opinion on the two "different" versions (this is the male equivalent of us asking which one out of two black patent platforms he prefers).

4. You have to listen to Stratosphere while brushing your teeth on a Saturday morning.

5. He doesn't remember your anniversary, yet he celebrates Yngwie Malmsteen's birthday and Kurt Cobain's death day (ok, I light candles on Kurt day as well. Everyone that loves music should).

6. You've cooked dinner and set the table, but it's all getting cold because his friend has had the brilliant idea to let him borrow his drum machine, with the result of your sophisticated, adult man turning into a noise-making five-year-old.

7. He wants to adopt Zoe:








...my conclusion is: guitar boys are the best. But if you're lucky enough to find one, get used to the fact that you'll never be number one.




David plus guitar.

3 comments:

  1. I think you must be the best girlfriend ever... I love that you bought an extra seat for David's guitar, that's gorgeous!!

    Thanks for stopping by - am following you and look forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you stub your big toe on the bathroom door and scream bloody murder for fifteen minutes, he barely looks your way."

    Laught to death. X***D

    ReplyDelete

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