12/04/2012

I'm So Beautiful, Women Hate Me: On Samantha Brick & Female Envy

Last week I read this Daily Mail article after finding the link on Becks and the City, one of my favorite blogs. The author of this piece, Samantha Brick, claims women hate her because of her looks.
Charlotte has also written a great post on this, with a video of Sam defending her views on British TV.



Internet storm: Samantha, who lives with her French husband Pascal Rubinatin the Dordogne, could have had no idea what a reaction her piece would provoke

Samantha plus hubby.


Here in Italy, female envy is a highly discussed topic. As a woman, it's practically the only reaction you're allowed to have to other women. You're jealous if you don't like a certain blogger (especially if they're tall, blonde and wealthy). You're jealous if you honestly don't want to be famous or on TV, because you can't get there anyway, can you, since you're just not pretty enough. If I don't like Cheryl Cole's music, it's because I'm "jealous" of her. It's completely out of the question that one might have respectful personal views on someone else's work, clothes, talents and/or personality. No, as a woman you're supposed to be either a herd-following sheep or a bitter, jealous old witch who will die alone and be eaten by her cat.






Reading the article and other pieces written by Samantha,  a few non-looks-related reasons why women might not want to be around her came to mind. In the article, she's the one to assume that women shun her because of her looks, while the real cause, if you ask these women, could be that she just comes across as arrogant (confident and arrogant are not the same thing). Most of my friends are gorgeous, still I'd instantly dislike a woman who admits to flirting to get ahead at work (newsflash, Sam: we do NOT all do this).

In my personal opinion, being beautiful is kind of like being famous: if you have to say you are, chances are you aren't. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder and those who really are beautiful, inside and out, do not need to say so.


My best friend is a heart-crushingly beautiful woman. She attracts gazes wherever she goes and men fall over themselves to talk to her. But guess what - women love her, too. Because she's a warm, positive, loveable person. I feel so privileged to be her best friend and I love it when people say she's beautiful because I'm so proud of her. Same thing with my sister, a 19-year-old bombshell with the body of a Victoria's Secret model. She studies medicine, goes Thai boxing five times a week and is an amazing singer and photographer. I couldn't be more proud of her and all of her best friends are female.

My friends don't react this way to beauty either. I'm not the only one claiming I'd go gay for Mila Kunis. Women also tend to adore gorgeous girls like Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel and Alexa Chung. None of them goes around whining about how "beautiful" they are and how difficult it is.

I find that in this article (and others), Samantha Brick showed us how likely it is that women do not, in fact, dislike her for her looks or her self-esteem, but for her "I'm-so-gorgeous-and-you-can't-stand-it" attitude and her assumption that all women use sexuality to get ahead in life. As if women had no other talents.

So, Samantha, sure, women may not love you, but for me personally, it's not because of how you look or because you like the way you look (which is awesome). It's because it appears that you judge other women. I prefer to give women a bit more credit than that. We are capable of respecting and celebrating one another. We are also capable of emotions. Lots of them, not only one.




Top picture from Daily Mail

5 comments:

  1. Ciao! Ho commentato quell'articolo su un altro blog, ripeto qui la mia opinione. Di sicuro non è (solo) per la bellezza che viene criticata, non la trovo nemmeno così eccezionale a dirla tutta. Anche a me urta un po' il suo atteggiamento da "sono figa solo io" e devo dire che, personalmente, se una persona che non conosco e non mi interessa si offre di pagarmi da bere, io dico "no grazie". Non c'è bisogno di sfruttare l'aspetto per qualunque cosa

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  2. Io la penso esattamente come te. Sai cosa però? Nei miei confronti, le "amiche" si sono comportate sempre da gelose, eppure ti assicuro che io non ho niente da invidiare, anzi!
    Credo che la distinzione da fare sia tra persone che serenamente vivono l'altro e chi invece se non è la migliore/più brava/più bella/più corteggiata non vuole nemmeno uscire di casa!

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  3. Isotta: ma ci sta anche che le donne si comportano da gelose, succede tutti i giorni! Però partire col presupposto perchè tutti ti odiano "solo perchè sei tanto bella", beh, se c'è una ricetta per farti odiare, è proprio questa.

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  4. Håller helt med dig! Så tråkigt att det finns människor som inte kan vara glad för andra och speciellt sina kompisar. Tack för dina fin ord om mig! Och du ska veta att jag känner exktakt samma sak för dig och din framgång! Puss :)

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  5. Re: the black and white picture - there's a fair chance the brunette is simply mesmerised by the blondie. Guy or girl, who could resist taking a sneak peek? :P

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